Marigene Willson's Writing Workshop

WA 1, Draft 2

I dont know how to edit this, i keep reading over, but i can't think of anything i really want to change. I need some suggestions?
Enough iridescence fell upon her eyes to show a glimmer of mischief- the kind of glimmer that every respectable girl keeps in her history. The point wasn’t really to beat an answer out of her, but to gently massage her hands until it seeped out of her finger nails. “Well,” she said, as she turned. “When I was little, I very nearly killed every pet that came into my possession.” She laughed. “ Once, I caught this gorgeous butterfly, which I obviously liked much more than all of the goldfish and turtles that I had been accustomed to having. I tried to put it in a jar, and much to my dismay, my dad insisted that it would die if I didn’t let it free. I was quite contrary though, and by the next morning, it was lying in the bottom of the jar, as he predicted, and as any child would have been, I was sad. But, luckily, it was just a butterfly, and it was only a jar holding it back.” She glanced at me. Her words stung, but I imagined the beauty of a flying butterfly, compared to the utter waste of one in the bottom of a jar, and I opened the lid.

posted by Marigene Willson @ 6:55 PM