WA 8, Draft 3
Me thinkest that thou ought to know,Why thy love pursues thee so.
His effort you may not think it wise to rate
If, by chance he dare abate.
So why then, though, does he often kneeleth
And go to efforts- such as grapes he peeleth?
He compares thee to a summer's day,
Oft asks you to the fields to play!
He swoons and sways with knavery
And tells you of such bravery
That he performs- I’ faith for you
He puts silk runners before thy shoe.
He placeth you as a star in the sky,
And tells you he shalt never lie;
Upon you doth he place such gifts
As necklaces and fruits that lift
Your spirit-so to make you adore
Him to the depth your mind doth soar!
With thoughts for him all through the day,
Of which you long to hear him say:
Your name, oh please, one time again
To be apart doth cause you pain!
But hast thou ever thought of why
He doth do these things that make thee sigh?
And spend thy's day with thoughts of him?
Thoughts, as oft, that make thee sin?
You thinkest that his love be true-
That his true hearts blush doth reach only you?
But hark my child; thou shalt not love so soon!
For all thy man wants is in your pantaloons.
posted by Marigene Willson @ 5:14 PM
2 Comments:
Marigene,
Hurrah! This is so great. The end is perfect; it sounds like it's from Donne or Marvell, or one of those other sex-obsessed poets. I really like the use of such ornate, genteel language with the ultimate, anti-gentlemanly message of the poem. I wonder whose voice I'm hearing. It could be a woman who's just trying to help a friend out, but for whatever reason, I associate this type of language with male speakers. If that's the case, I have to question motives. Maybe he's just trying to villainize his competition, so he can win over the lady... and pursue her pantaloons himself. If you took this angle, it would end up more like a metaphysical poem. If not, I would play with feminizing the voice a little. Regardless, have fun with it. I can't wait to read your final draft. Hope everything's grand in the world of CHS and English class. I really miss you all.
-Ms. A
Oh shoot. I just realized that that was your final draft. Well, I still think it's great, and if you decide to take it further on your own, you can consider my ideas... or not. Anyways, keep up the great work!
-Ms. A
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